How often do you ask for help?
Something I have noticed more now than ever is that people don’t like asking for help, maybe I am noticing it now because I can see that there are more people needing help. It got me thinking why do most people not ask for help? Are they to ashamed to ask for help because they don’t want you to know that they have problem or that they are struggling or do they just not want to burden you with their problems because they believe that you have problems of your own so you can help them. It could quite possibly just be that you are scared to be turned down when you do ask, so you just rather not ask. I do however believe that there is someone out there that will help you, it’s just finding that person.
I think the key to asking for help is 3 fold:
- You need to be 100% clear on exactly what help you need.
- Once you know that then you need to do the actually asking.
- Last but not least, you need to graciously accept the help given.
So let’s go through each one in detail so you are 100% sure just incase you are one of those people who desperately need help but just don’t know how to ask for it or you are to scared or embarrassed to ask. Before you start reading this please get out a pen and paper so that you can make notes whilst going through the points.
Steps to follow when asking for help:
- Make a list of exactly what you need help with, be specific, it might look like you only need help with one thing when in actual fact you need help with more than one thing, that’s why clarity is so important.
- Once you have done this now rate them, putting the most urgent one on top and the least important one at the bottom.
- Next to each point write down who you think could help you with each one. Remember that the same person might not be able to help you with everything you need you might need to ask more than one person. Don’t over think who these people could be, it could be your partner, your spouse, your child, your friend or your neighbour.
- It is vitally important to ask for help at the right time, don’t ask someone for help when they are going through a crisis or when they are busy with a deadline as they won’t give you their full attention. What you could do if you are not sure if it’s a good time to ask for help is ask them the question “I would like to ask you for help with something, is this a good time for us to talk?” You need their undivided attention.
- You need to speak up, people won’t know you need help unless you ask for help and people don’t generally just offer their help, you need to speak up. Don’t let someone else ask for help on your behalf, you need to gain the confidence and ask for help yourself, by doing this people will be more willing to help you.
- Remember when asking for help, be specific tell the person exactly what you need help with, don’t be vague be precise. People need all the facts to see if they are able to help you and if they can’t help you maybe they know someone else who can help you.
- When asking for help don’t come across as if you feel sorry for yourself, stand tall and be confident no matter how you might be feeling inside. Always ask for help using a positive, appreciative tone of voice.
- Once you have received the help you asked for, go back to the person and thank them again for all their help, don’t only thank them once, thank them twice so that they can see that you truly are appreciative of their help.
- Tell them exactly how they have helped you and what it means to you, be sincere don’t just say thank you to say thank you. Mean it with everything that you are.
- Now that you have been helped it’s time to pay back, always offer your help to someone who might need it. You might not think that you can help someone but I promise you that you can.
I hope now that you see that asking for help isn’t really as difficult as you might think it is, you just need to take the first step and that is admit to yourself that you need the help, once you have done that the rest is easy.
The next level of growth for most people is gaining enough humility to recognize that they will need help to achieve it.Brendon Burchard
We live in a world where we need help from others, we live in a world where we can’t do it all on our own, we live in a world where asking for help is no longer considered a sign of weakness, but rather one of strength. Don’t stand in your own way. Let those around you help you!